J. PAUL

---

2005-11-23T09:07:10Z

I am so fucking sick of war, why can't it stop, and why can't we all just fucking realize we're human beings and have to live with each other no matter what? The only way we're going to advance and evolve as a species is if we learn from each other and fix our mistakes and remember the past so we don't repeat it. Enough death and disease please. O.K. I know we can't stop the disease because it's an organic part of the circle of life, but if people weren't killing each other on a daily basis, disease wouldn't seem like such a bad thing. It'd be like: "O.K. people are dying of the Asian bird flu, but at least they're not getting FUCKING SHOT EVERY DAY BY OTHER PEOPLE WITH GUN AND KNIVES." God damn it I am so tired of everythng I just want to go to sleep and wake up in a world where none of this happens. We're doomed to destroy ourselves. I respect people who realize this but it's a grim fucking outcome, you know?! I may be lazy and everything but at least I'M NOT A KILLER AND A RAPIST AND INTOLERANT AND ARROGANT AND RICH AND FAMOUS AND SPITEFUL AND VINDICTIVE AND FRAIL AND STUPID. I don't hate gay people or black people or anything like that. Say what the fuck you want but at least I'm better than you. I FUCKING PARK MY GOD DAMNED FUCKING SHOPPING CART IN THE STALL PROVIDED AS OPPOSED TO LEAVING IT IN THE MIDDLE OF A SPACE WHERE SOMEONE ELSE MAY NEED TO PARK! I CLEAN THE LINT SCREEN IN MY DRYER MACHINE INSTEAD OF LEAVING IT THERE BECAUSE I'M LAZY! FUCK YOU! I RENOUNCE THE GYM, I RENOUNCE A HEALTHY DIET! IT'S ALL A DISTRACTION FROM THE TRUE MEANING OF LIFE WHICH IS TO MAKE YOUR LIFE DEDICATED TO OTHER PEOPLE!

GO AWAY

If Wishes Were Fishes

2005-11-23T04:52:45Z

Know what'd be the coolest thing? An episode of "The Young Ones," re-made, starring the members of Tool. I'd pay to see that. I wish I were friends with them. I'd ask them to do it. Aw, man, that'd be great.

Adam: You mean, you, like, scored with a chick?
Maynard: Well, of course, I wouldn't put it in such sexist terms, Adam, but yes.
Justin: Now, wait a minute, Maynard. I'm the one who gets the girls around here. There could be a copyright problem.
Danny: I don't understand. How? Was she unconscious?
Maynard: What, Danny? Do I detect a little spark of jealousy?
Danny: Ha! I'm not jealous. I find the idea of spending a night with you completely revolting!
Maynard: You know perfectly well what I mean. Just because I was the most wanted and attractive guy at the party last night...
Adam: What do you mean, Maynard? You passed out after half a glass of cider.
Maynard: Did I? Blimey, that's a bit anarchic! Anyway, it just goes to show you, Adam. Even when I'm unconscious, I can pick up the birds.

Danny: That's a friend of mine named Adam, that's a friend of mine named Justin, and that's a complete bastard I know named Maynard.
Maynard: He's just joking, Mrs. Carey, we're actually terrific friends.
Mrs. Carey: Ooh, he is a bastard, isn't he?

Justin: Adam, it's very rare that you interest me but today you have. Why do you keep coming down here with a cake and saying surprise?
Adam: It's my birthday.
Justin: Now you knew that anyway and we don't care, so where's the surprise?
Adam: Well, I baked a cake.
Justin: A cake. Can a cake dance? Can a cake get you drunk? Will a cake let you put your hand up its jumper?

Danny: You have to write in ten words what Cornflakes mean to you. So I wrote: Cornflakes. Cornflakes. Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes. Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes.
Maynard: Pathetic. You'll never win, you know.
Danny: Why not?
Maynard: That's only nine words.
Danny: Oh yeah...[writing] Cornflakes.

Techno-Dependancy Strikes Again

2005-11-22T17:10:59Z

I never realized how attached I was to my iPod until I sent it off for repairs. It's been like two weeks now. I want it back. I've resorted to listening to CDs in my car again.

All this complicated depressing mush coursing through my head that just needs to be vented, and I choose to talk about my iPod. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

See It

2005-11-11T22:23:31Z

"Good Night, and Good Luck."

Teeth are getting better.

I can be mobile, even go outside without feeling sick.

My only problem now is restlessness.

I crave real food, but I still have to eat my quesadillas with a fork and knife in little tiny bites.

I have never wanted candy more than I have this week.

Upon healing, I will have:
A cheese pizza (either large Papa John's, or stuffed crust from Pizza Hut)
McDonald's french fries and barbeque sauce
Nice big veggie Subway sandwich

Mmmmmmmmmm.

Out A My Mouf

2005-11-09T20:20:43Z

Officially this is the worst week of my life so far. On Monday morning I had my wisdom teeth out. Ouch. Ouch ouch ouch. Fucking ouch. The vicadin's not so bad, but it turns out I AM allergic to pencillin (not the opposite which I had previously been privy of). Appetite comes and goes. I like eating chocolate shakes with a spoon. I like swishing warm water with salt in. I like to sleep and watch movies. I hate that feeling like you have to throw up but you can't. The assholes at Suncoast won't even give my reserved copy of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" to my girlfriend. I wanna watch it, damn it.

I haven't even had time to revel in the fact that my five cavities were filled. My mouth is swollen. I can feel the stitches with my tongue. I haven't brushed my teeth or showered since Monday morning. This is the first time I've sat upright for an extended period of time, and I feel sick.

But why am I telling YOU all this? You know. You've probably had your wisdom teeth out. And you can gloat because it's over for you. Yeah, why am I bothering. Happens to everyone. Better go then. Wouldn't want to waste your time.

What Dreams Makem

2005-11-07T16:50:48Z

I'm going to sleep.

Someone please wake me when the new Pearl Jam record comes out.

Not Supposed To Be

2005-11-05T18:16:23Z

I had a dream last night about Froot Loops.

So this morning I bought Froot Loops, and I am at this very moment eating a heaping bowl full, hoping that my dream was pointing me in the direction of some greater answer or explanation, one that awaits me at the bottom of this bowl of sugared (but 1/3 less, or so the box says) cereal.

So far, nothing.

But maybe it's more meaningful than I think.

Piss Piss Piss

2005-11-03T21:51:56Z

I just came up with a great anti-Napoleon Dynamite sticker. If the fans get to shove it down our throats, why shouldn't the people who dislike the movie have the same opportunities?

I've been thinking of more. How do I get them made?

Difficult Times Lie Ahead, Harry

2005-11-02T07:50:48Z

How do they pick the directors for the Harry Potter movies?

Sorting hat?

I wanna do one.

Please?

Waltz of the Self-Explanatory, 2nd Movement

2005-10-02T17:08:44Z

Freak needs to improve his homeland security system. I just broke in and stole this.

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
jpaul goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Hunter S. Thompson.
biancasue gives you 15 purple vanilla-flavoured gummy worms.
boomshak gives you 17 mauve root beer-flavoured gummy bats.
elmolicious gives you 1 dark green raspberry-flavoured pieces of taffy.
erleichda gives you 1 brown licorice-flavoured jawbreakers.
hp_speculation gives you 5 tan grape-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
jeffhawkins gives you 9 light yellow strawberry-flavoured gumdrops.
jmorbadu gives you 14 mauve root beer-flavoured gummy bats.
rebelloma gives you 13 dark green banana-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
seankozma gives you 15 dark green tropical-flavoured gummy worms.
thefreak gives you 2 tan lime-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
jpaul ends up with 92 pieces of candy.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

Waltz of the Self-Explanatory, 1st Movement

2005-10-02T17:04:30Z

October seems to be starting well.

First, NIN_LIVE_WITH_TEETH last night. All types of good fun.

Then I discover my submission went through, and "Dogg's Hamlet, Cahoot's Macbeth" has been added to IMDB. Hooray for lots of things. Go vote and comment. Just search for "J. Paul Zimmerman" in names (yes, Joey Zimmerman's the one), continue on to "Dogg" and vote and comment.

Love ya.

A Machine Made of Pentagrams (Cogs and Such)

2005-09-27T17:24:08Z

I think I'm ready for my girlfriend to be back. My evolution seems to kick in reverse when I'm without her for an extended period of time. Dishes start piling up in the sink...I start to think my cats are plotting against me...I think Lunchables pizza would be a fun snack...

I DID however fulfill a childhood dream the other day. Pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Oh wait, I've done that before.

And now I'm hung over and I have an awful taste in my mouth.

Moving next month, too. So long, Mar Vista.

I thought there was more, but I guess I'm done.

Edge of Your SeaTac Action!

2005-09-17T01:27:28Z

Going to Seattle this weekend.

Theatre Sports.

Dead Can Dance.

Twin Peaks's's Great Northern Inn.

It's an artsy/goth/nerd/improv snob's dream vacation.

Groovy 0, Malicious Malcontentedness 58

2005-09-10T08:27:30Z

Back in the director's chair after a year. Just as chaotic as I remembered. What a night. Shooting delayed due to crucial camera component gone missing. Shooting delayed due to my car getting hit while parked on the street. And now, everything we've done possibly scrapped because the house we're shooting in will be unavailable soon.

I'll still take it over acting any day.

Anyone wanna invest in my next picture?

Wah Fuh Foh

2005-09-06T03:53:50Z

Nevada City Film Festival..................accepted
Westwood Film Festival.....................rejected
California Independent Film Festival.......rejected
San Diego Film Festival....................rejected

We'll keep trying. I mean, I'll keep trying. Sorry, Freudian slip.

Never mind.

Fun With Livejournal

2005-08-13T23:18:31Z

New Pearl Jam on the way.

New Tool on the way.

Now all we have to do is get out of this damn technological fiasco caused by Mercury.

See you all at the end of the tunnel.

WoW, BoB, WoW!

2005-08-09T08:04:24Z

Jumped on the "World of Warcraft" bandwagon tonight.

Look me up. Lightbringer server. An undead priest called Krux. Level 5.

Fun. Times.

The Story So Far

2005-08-06T03:24:30Z

Well, August hasn't been going so well up to this point. I imagine it will only get worse. Perhaps things will be SO good after this month, I have to endure a little bit of anger and frustration. It's pretty hard keeping my cool, I tell-you-what.

First of all, there's the story of my past two entries, complaining about damn Craigslist and how I can't post a simple ad for a casting call. It keeps getting deleted. Today marked the third damn time. Gettin' mighty sick of it. This is the smallest frustration. Check me out.

My car's out of commission. Happened on Wednesday afternoon. I was drivin' round the valley (stupid goddamn valley), and suddenly I'm having acceleration problems. Oh crap. I take it to Firestone, they send me elsewhere. So the guy looks at my car and says it's the transmission. Most of the problem is due to an electrical error that's been plaguing my car for nearly a year. And because it hasn't been solved, now my transmission is busted. So poor Alexandra has to come pick me up and take me home. The best is yet to come. I call the next day. Not only do they need to keep my car until Saturday, possibly even Tuesday, it's gonna cost me anywhere from $900 to $2500. Who loves that? I KNOW I DO!

So with no ride, I try to figure out what else I can do. I remember about my auto insurance...my brand-new policy was cancelled in May due to non-payment. Strange, I thinks to myself, I signed up for the auto-debit thingy. So how can they not have been paid? Oh well, I'll worry about it later. Er...three months later...it's too late to pay the balance and reinstate my prior policy. So I open a brand new one. For...what the fuck? Over a thousand dollars more?! Because of some "suspension period" before my policy was cancelled? No fucking way! Too bad. Gots to deal with it. So I pay the fuckers, and come home. Then start to think. And talk to Alexandra. She makes so much sense. I do some digging. Lo and behold - I most certainly WAS on the auto debit system. So how did my payment not go through? WELL, turns out AAA claims my bank turned down their payment request. Odd, I thinks. Never had a problem before. More than sufficient funds in there. This needs investigating! So I put on my investigating cap and make several calls to the bank and to AAA. I give my bank the exact date and amount of the alleged requested payment - my bank says there was never a request for payment! This is proved by my account statement, which would show any denied requests. Sure enough, they're right - there was never a request made for payment. Now I'm winning! I've got the fuckers. So I call AAA, "Hey, you guys never even TRIED to get that money. What gives, yo?" (in so many words of course). They says they'll call me back once they've looked into it. Meanwhile, why don't I fax them a copy of my bank statement saying there was no request? Sure I'll do that.

Hm...it's past five and they haven't called me. Office is closed for the weekend. Fuckers.
Gee...the fax number doesn't work. How peachy.

So now I have to wait until Monday to fix all this shit. Sweet Lord, I'm fucking angry and pissed off and depressed. There'd better be something damn good coming up around the bend. This is hell. Oh yeah, I nearly cleaned out my checking account to make the down payment on my new insurance policy. And I can't get more money till Monday. This fuckin' blows.

Interesting, huh?

Well, don't tell me I never cured your insomnia.

Punk-Ass Bitches!

2005-08-05T17:24:57Z

Fucking Craiglist users have done it to me again! This blows! Damn it all to hell, I just want to post a damn casting call notice!

Craig's Pissed Dot Org

2005-08-05T04:29:40Z

Goddamn cocksucking pieces of shit Craigslist motherfuckers.

Delete my goddamn posting?

I'll show them. I'll show them all.

And Also

2005-07-30T06:29:10Z

You're Agent Albert Rosenfield, the snide and
superior forensics expert. Your tongue is
sharper than your scalpel, and it doesn't take
long for people to start hating you for your
supercilious quips, but you are the very best
at what you do. You don't suffer fools gladly,
but you give respect when it's due. In fact,
you're a good guy at heart, but so wedded to
your sarcasm that you can rarely stand to treat
people kindly.

Which Twin Peaks character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Get Up, Stand Up

2005-07-30T06:15:14Z

Schizopolis.

Now THAT'S a good movie.

Nanny Nanny Poo Poo

2005-07-26T03:06:55Z

Well, it all just goes to show you. Sure does.

Thanks to Mister and or Missus Whomeverthefuck who responded anonymously to my previous entry, I am no longer allowing anonymous comments. I used to love getting anonymous comments - usually they were from friends of mine who didn't have LiveJournal accounts. How do I know this? Because they would always identify themselves.

However, as much as I understand the idea of anonymity, I don't like it. I don't like people who abuse it by making one "guess" who they are. "lolz i bet u don't no who i am" - Well, you're right, I don't socialize with many second graders.

I also don't like it when people use anonymity to be insulting, like my friend from the previous entry.

Oh, I know what you all are thinking - "There goes J. Paul, being sensitive, and going to the extreme measure rather than taking it all in stride and having a good laugh about it." The truth is, I'm amused by the whole endeavor - hell, it was probably Jenny who left the comment. Truth is, I don't care. I just find it even more amusing that that person has ruined it for any other anonymous commentators.

My Journal, my rules.

how do u lyke me now, L00Z3R5? roflmao jpaul pwnz :P

Insert Witty Pun Here Based on Words Available

2005-07-14T06:55:21Z

Well, I finally watched "Napoleon Dynamite."

I think someone needs to explain it to me. I heard it was this hilarious, quotable, groundbreaking independant instant cult classic.

Looked like a one-note, poorly directed, worsely acted pretentious load of horse crap to me.

But then again, who am I? I didn't like "xXx."

Untitled 7/4/05

2005-07-05T03:22:38Z

There are no proper feelings to describe how miserable this holiday makes me. I am not proud to be an American, I am not proud to be a human being, and I am certainly not proud to be who I am. So why in the world would I want to celebrate a holiday of independence? Being an individual is what makes things so depressing most of the time anyway. Things work a lot better when you're a mass. A statistic. Just one of a million billion human beings, grinding and toiling your life away like the great millstone. Who wants to be One? One is the loneliest number that you'll ever (do).

Noises. Loud ones. I hate my block. I hate this holiday most of all because it's been celebrated here in Mar Vista for the past month. Noisy hispanic neighbors letting off homemade (and probably illegal) fireworks from nine in the morning to past midnight. I sincerely hope one of their kids loses an eye or limb. The vengeance. For some reason, it would make me feel better. I can't sleep. I hate to eat. So I need something. Somebody else's life to watch and laugh at so I can forget my own.

I matured too early. I learned things I shouldn't have learned and experienced things I shouldn't have experienced until two years from now. I don't reccommend it. Yet I don't blame anybody but myself. Problems would be solved, I said, if I moved out on my own as soon as possible. They only got worse. Problems would be solved, I said, once I turned eighteen. They only got worse. Problems would be solved, I said, if I didn't go to college and started my career as a director right away. They only got worse. But it's that desire to be One. It's that need we all feel and only few of us have the money to fulfill where we just HAVE to be different. We have to be the early bloomer, the prodigy, the "oh wow you made a feature film and you're only 19" kid. I don't want it. I want a hole to sleep in. I want to go away until I've grown up enough to deserve the things and people that are in my life.

I don't deserve to have a mature relationship when I can't control my body which appears to be rapidly immaturing. I am supposed to be the person people mistake for a man in his mid-twenties. Instead I'm reminded, day in and day out, of the fact I'm only as old as I am, and things seem to be getting worse. Have I missed something? Is something unfulfilled in me? It's a thing not too many can answer. And that's what I need. Answers. They're not in me. They're not in my therapist. They're not in the sex that I feel. They're not in my friends, who for the most part are actors playing the part of brick walls, sharing nothing, reflecting nothing, talking as little as possible and only about surface bullshit.

Alexandra cuts people out of her life as she sees fit. I want to blame her, but I can't. It's probably a smart move. We all need a little bit of cleansing every once in a while. It's not a matter of figuring out "Who does what for ME," but a matter of "Who am I doing anything for," that doesn't involve being on a MySpace friends' list, or filling up a slot in an improv troupe, or substitute teaching every now and again. I can't think of a single person whose life I am truly affecting.

It hurts to learn the truth. It makes me cry. Not so much that I am this way, but that I can come around and view myself as this way. Once we stop believing in ourselves, we stop setting an example and therefore no one believes in us. Who wants to publicize a sinking ship?

I'm not drunk. Tipsy. Or at least I believe I am. Makes it easier for some reason.

Want to write me off as being melodramatic? Go ahead. Less sympathy comments.

I refuse to watch any fireworks tonight.