| The beans |
[24 Dec 2009|10:47am] |
Spilled them at Universal yesterday. My partner for the day was Natasha, who I've worked with for years. At one point I told someone that my wife was going down to OC ahead of me for Xmas and she said, "You're married?!"
Blank stare
Everyone was like, "Yeah!"
I said, "Only for, y'know, two years now."
Then Tracy, at the Show Captain desk, shouts, "And he has a house!" FYI, she helped us get a loan at the time, though it ultimately failed (screw you BofA!)
On a guilt trip roll, I added, "Yep, married. Got a house. A kid on the way..." Oops.
Suddenly everyone goes, "What? Yaw havin' a bayyybayyy??" and I'm being surrounded with pats, etc.
"This is why I didn't tell anyone," says I. But here's the bad part. Tracy threw in a "Congratulations!" and I did my usual smart-ass reply of, "Thanks. It was really hard work."
Natasha then says, "Kurt and I have been trying for two years."
DOH! Go me! It seems to happen a lot when around Natasha, that I often just say the wrong or insulting thing. She and Kurt (her husband and also a coworker...he is the tall balding guy on Sarah Silverman's show, one of her two dorky nemeses) are midwesterners. I often find myself making fun of football or whatever else they like because I just can't help it. I'm pretty sure she can't stand me which is why I assume she doesn't really pay attention to anything I do or say. Probably a "If you can't say something nice..." thing.
So, we work again today...here's to trying not to put my shoe in my gaping face hole again. Heheheh.
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| Holiday Spirit...? |
[22 Dec 2009|01:52pm] |
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mood |
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grateful |
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Today, my department participated in a White Elephant Gift Exchange. I was hardcore supporting this when we were asked to vote between White Elephant and Secret Santa.
Secret Santa is boring, and you're more than likely going to get just candy or something lame. You might not know the person, and your santa might not know you.
But a White Elephant... You get participation from all sides, you get to open presents in front of people. You get to snigger and laugh together at the lame gifts, applaud the awesome ones and cheer for people or go "OOOOOOoooooooohhhhhh!!!!!" when someone gets their gift stolen from them. I love it. I was all for participating with clapping, cheering and side commentary. I even stole gifts. I tried to keep my hold on a bottle of Jose Cuervo Especial, doing my best to keep it out of view for the old addage "Out of Sight, Out of Mind."
It worked until someone noticed what I was doing when people were wondering which bottles of alcohol were still open for stealing. Christina snagged my bottle and Kendy snagged from her. She wound up with my bottle of Bombay Sapphire gin that I brought to the game, and I ended up with "The Hangover."
Ha. Ha. Ha.
It's okay, I traded "The Hangover" for the bottle of Cuervo after the game ;)
Most of the gifts fell into one of the following four categories: Board Games, Alcohol, DVDs, and As-Seen-On-TV Products.
Clare said, after the game was over, that we could put some drinks on the drink carousel, crack open a few bottles, watch some DVDs and play games and have a light rave with The Clapper. I cracked up.
Our department is, undeniably, one of the most mellow and quiet departments. We are also the poster child for being way awesome with our scores. We never decorate for any of the holidays, but it kind of changed when two managers put up a tiny little tree. It's now decorated with tinsel and pictures of all the people in our department. And we had that gift exchange with a pizza party afterwards.
No one would know it, visiting our department, but we seem to be quite social and fun-having underneath.
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| Ninja Baby! |
[20 Dec 2009|12:56am] |
This weekend is a gaping pile of horrid sucktitude so far. For example:
- Yesterday, a casting director told me my headshot looked nothing like me. The headshot I have used for years that all but one (now two) have told me looks exactly like me. It was a bad way to start the day. - While at USH (Universal), I got a freaked out call from Kar3n about bleeding where there should be none. Her doctor told her to rest for a couple days so she skipped out from work. Meanwhile, I am helplessly stranded at USH while she is going through all this. - Got called in early to Yamashiro, so I didn't even have a chance to charge my phone or see Kar3n. My phone died halfway through Yama because I had used it to listen to NPR in the car...because I kept forgetting to reset my radio (it locks up whenever the electricity dies...like when they changed the hybrid battery three days ago) - At Yama, while already in a foul mood, a get a call from one of the Fluffies informing me that I am scheduled for FIVE DAYS at USH (as a host! Whoo-hoo!), including Xmas Day (FUCK!!). Oh, and I am the only one who can cover his Monday shift...I am helpless to cover either shift, because I can't use my phone...which dies anyways.
- This morning, we go to the ER because Kar3n wants to err on the side of over-safe. We wait 8 fucking hours. EIGHT! Weren't even seen for the first 5. Saturday before Xmas + Weekday doctors off + Trauma Center = Fuck You! - Computer dies after less than an hour because Windows 7 is made of fucking FAIL. I am reinstalling XP asap. - Got shitty reception in 90% of Cedars-Sinai. Welcome to the 20th Century, asshats. Phone died by hour 7. - Got a ticket for parking in the street one hour too long. Fuck you, again. I am so frazzled and tired that I couldn't quite comprehend the five different street signs where I parked. And didn't realize the hospital validates. - Got distracted walking to the car (fuming about no one calling me back about USH shifts), that I missed the street where I parked. Ran around the long way...and stepped in fucking dog crap. Fuck dogs. Crap machines! - On the way home, got stuck in massive traffic in Hollywood...because the popo decided to set up a sobriety checkpoint at the Hollywood Bowl...on a Saturday night...are you fucking kidding me? To add to that, the highway was also backed up for literally no reason.
Luckily, the night was saved by ELF. I had never seen it and neither had Kar3n. Our brains were reduced to mush so we laughed at everything...especially the hatred of dogs in the film. Like they read my mind. Though Favreau had a weird way of casting low-key actors in the major roles...really, really, laconic actors, even James Caan. Very strange.
But something made all this almost worth it...the ultrasound! As Kar3n tells it:
"And it moves around-- ok, twitches is more like it-- but it moves! The tech had to *slosh* it around a few times to get a better look at the profile, which made us laugh, which made the baby shake it's hands and feet, which made Coleman say something about a fetus rave, which made me laugh harder, which sloshed the kid harder, which made it dance again, which made us laugh again... This kid is either going to be born laughing or seasick.
Another surprise: Version 2.0 is actually 12 weeks old. Not 7. O_O Not sure how that happened, since I swear to Bob I was "normal" in October. We're going to have to start calling it Shinobu-- like a ninja, it comes from out of nowhere, lives in the darkness, and this particular ninja seems to be one tough little kid."
So we have a Fetus Raver, a Ninja Baby...and it also did pelvic thrusts which was kind of weird. Reminded me of something, but I couldn't quite...OH SHIT! It's Baby Hard Gay!
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| zombie aid |
[19 Dec 2009|02:38pm] |
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Some friends need a make up artist to do some zombie effects for a project...the catch: it's free. But with hopes it will go somewhere. Any takers?
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| Battlefield Avatar |
[19 Dec 2009|10:42am] |
Anyone care to see a late showing Sunday night?
For your amusement:

I'm sure the movie will be wonderful...but the poster design, not so much.
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| When Gaming Goes Wrong |
[16 Dec 2009|01:23pm] |
So last night at Laz's we tried a new game by Fantasy Flight (the guys who make Arkham Horror) called ANDROID. Kar3n always makes fun of Arkham Horror for being too complicated. The big difference here is that AH involves all the characters working together to get through the game...whereas this has you all screwing personally with each character while also trying to slog through the flimsy plot.
The basic premise is that it's the future, the game is divided between New Angeles on earth and a moon colony at the top of the board, connected by a space elevator (that somehow is connected to both the moon and the city day and night)...there has been a murder and you have to investigate it. I would say that you have to solve the murder and catch the killer, but no...that is not what it is about (though it says it at the beginning). Instead you find evidence to support your HUNCH of who is guilty (you draw a card of one of the 6 suspects and try to basically frame them with guilty points), and if they have the most guilty points at the end you get a buttload of victory points. The majority of the game though is about plot cards for each of the 5 completely different characters and...well...it's far too complicated to go into in a thousand words or less.
Basically, it was like they took all of Arkham Horror's expansions and put them in one game. Expansions make sense because you can start out with the basic game and once you have gotten that mastered, you can add more complexity. This was more like jumping into a pool of ninja sharks that were also telepaths, bene gesserits, and shooting lasers...and you had to figure out how to survive, while the pool moves on a merry go round five stories in the air. It was as if they had a brainstorming session where they came up with shitloads of cool ideas and then refused to say, "No!" to any of them. Or just wanted to fuck with people.
It went something like this: We chose one of five characters to play as. Each character not only has different skills, but they have different complete rules and ways of playing the game. The bounty hunter makes money by killing suspects (we presume...he never once managed to get a contract cause of the million other distractions in the game)...the clone has a Sanity chart to keep an eye on...the android has three directives to follow, etc. Sounds like fun, except that each of these characteristics is very detailed and played by a different set of rules. No two characters play the same. Everyone has Twilight (positive) cards and Dark cards to play against the others (the detective, just to make life more complicated, has an extra set of trauma cards to play against him)...not to be confused with the Light and Dark character track that you have to keep an eye on in order to use any of the cards by moving a certain number of spots up or down the light/Dark track. Oh, and the track is on a double-sided sheet that has NPC information on the back. So when you want to go, "Wait, who is Director Haas??" and look at the list of characters, the marker placed on the Light/Dark track falls off as you flip the card over. *facepalm*
Essentially, it makes your brain bleed. Every turn is divided into 6 (or 7 if you are the android) "time periods." So one turn consists of 6 actual turns. Each of those six turns-within-turns has six options you can choose to do. Just moving is complex, requiring a fucking sextant (representing the distance your personal vehicle can travel...I shit you not) and exact measurements. If you are a millimeter from the location, you can't make it. Oh, and there are so many locations, they had to put a grid on the edge of the board and list them by coordinates (for example: "The Police Station (D,7)"). Depending on the symbol on each location, it could result in a free card of a certain type or, if any of the other characters are paying attention to the various ways they can screw with you (while at the same time trying to figure out their next plethora of moves when it's their turn), something bad might happen. Oh, and the game lasts two six-day (???) weeks. Things happen every day and every two days and then plot points change and more things happen...AAAARGH!!!
If you find a clue, you have two choices (at first): Draw guilty/innocent points to add to your favored suspect, or pick a puzzle piece that corresponds to a never-explained 'conspiracy.' If you do this enough and the puzzle pieces combine to form a complete row or column, you get some more points. But depending on the pile you chose the piece from, there is an additional benefit that happens to you. Or you could use that turn to move your marker to a better pile of puzzle pieces and then shoot yourself in the face because this is so fucking overly-complicated, it's the only way to stop the hurting.
The coup-de-grace? When added up the guilty points, it turns out you first remove the lowest number in the guilty or innocent zone (even the suspects cards are a menagerie of zones and choices). We weren't told this would happen. So I loaded up my guy with high-number point markers...the lowest was still a high number. And if there are multiples of that number? Also removed. If you loaded up the area on the card with 4's (out of 5), and that was the lowest? All gone. This was not pointed out to us until the end of the game. Some of the points had just red or blue faces which we were told were very powerful...but only if they were in the same zone, it turns out. Jesus Christ, I am getting angry just remembering this game.
Jenzie (who played with us), suggested that the only way to salvage this masochistic garbage was to play in teams of two. One to plan out what your character is doing, and the other co-pilot to concentrate on screwing over the others by keeping track of their plot points and using dark cards (which say things along the lines of, "When the detective is eating a sandwich at exactly 3:02pm on the second day of the week with a hooker named Karen, not Susie, and belches...play this card to mildly inconvenience him!"). Then, MAYBE, it would be playable. Or, if you spent a week playing it over and over until you understood every one of the hundreds of choices you can make, you might have a handle.
Save yourselves kids...stay away, far away.
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| poser |
[14 Dec 2009|04:01pm] |
Bu posing for the camera with Evelyn, visiting for the weekend from DC
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| Photo Shoot of the Extraordinary |
[13 Dec 2009|10:00pm] |
Damn, I'm beat...but still wired. I was trying to crank people in and out for 8 hours today, with everyone telling me they had to leave between 3 and 4:30. Almost didn't happen with a few...some definitely had to go, but vowed to return for reshoots. lifeofreilly was game, so no worries there. And since we have over 250 shots already to go through and photoshop (galore), I think we got the time.
Thank you to everyone who suffered at my hands. I feel horribly guilty, of course...some brought their kids ( 2fly's boys were killing prostitutes on Assassin's Creed while everyone cheered them on, but Nate's little girl kept asking to go home), some came to help out ( miss_pixie and squeakytina never ventured into the 'studio' but kept everyone sane backstage), and some...fixed our shower! Thanks, penance_ and angeldye! I look forward to photos anxiously. And thanks to my costume wenches, justy_dreamer and isako...Bennett was probably the only partygoer...we'll be cloning her int he background of every shot, I'm sure.
Surprisingly, the shots came out rather well. Who knew Dickie looked good in a bowler:

My many thanks to everyone...let me know what horrible things I can do to make up for your pains!
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